2016 has been the year for the horror genre to get more creative and smart. Since films like ‘The Conjuring 2’, ‘Don’t Breathe’ and ‘Hush’, my standard for horror has risen considerably. However, there are still those typical horror movie cliches that make me think “seriously?”. I’ve listed ten of them which I think you’ll all agree with.
1. “HELLO”
Seriously, this might be the most annoying. If you know there’s a psycho killer murdering all your friends, what makes you think saying “hello?” will help you? Yes, alert the killer to your whereabouts. 99% of the time, you’ve put yourself in more danger.
2. NO PHONE RECEPTION
“I don’t have any phone reception”. Every single damn time. Granted, it’s probably because they’re in the middle of nowhere (see point 3). I have an easy solution for this. Use the emergency button on the lock screen because there’s always an iPhone user in the group. Boom, drop the mic.
3. CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
Why is it always a place in the middle of nowhere? How frustrating. “My family cabin is free, let’s all go up for the weekend”… um, how about no. Unless you want to die. And how convenient that a killer just happens to live up there. Alright then. Cool.
4. THE KILLER NEVER DIES
Some movies have got better with this but usually, the killer always comes back for round 2. Or there’s a second killer no one knows about until the end. When killing the psycho, always head shots. If the brain is dead, so are they.
5. PARENTS DON’T BELIEVE YOU
This one often occurs in supernatural horror. Usually, the child is the one seeing the paranormal beings and tells their parents about it. “You just had a nightmare sweetie, it’s okay” – the typical response. I’ve seen enough horror films to know if my child ever said that to me I’d be out of that house so fast.
6. TYPICAL FAMILY MOVES INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE
Boring! I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a movie where a family moves into a new house which just happens to be haunted. There’s always the parents, the rebellious teenager who isn’t happy, the younger siblings whom the ghosts target and the dog who always dies. Why the dog? What did it ever do to you?
7. “LET’S SPLIT UP”
No, this is never a good idea. Always stay together. If someone says “let’s split up” they’re probably the killer.
8. THE GIRL ALWAYS TRIPS
Why is it almost every female character magically falls over while the killer is WALKING after them? It’s just getting annoying now. Learn how to run.
9. THE COPS ARE USELESS
In almost every instance, the cops are completely useless. They’re played off as the dumb, eating donut type of cops who don’t really care. Or they usually die within the first half of the movie.
10. FALSE SCARES
The eerie music builds up all this tension and usually, it’s nothing so I look like an idiot with my hands over my face. Awks. I’m disrespected.
Admit it, you agree with each and every one of these.
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