Allergies are a pain in the arse, aren’t they? Whether it’s hayfever or an intolerance to certain foods, it makes you feel like your body is screwing you over in some way shape or form.
Since the age of about 9, I have suffered with a nut allergy and I’ve also suffered with hay fever since the age of about 12. Of course, hayfever is only seasonal. My nut allergy is a 365 days a year thing.
If you don’t happen to suffer with allergies then good for you, you’ve managed to escape the on going battle that people like myself have to endure daily. Whatever you do, though, can you just not say these things, like ever again. For the purposes of this blog, I will refer to allergens as ‘X’ so you can insert whatever it is in the sentence. Get my drift?
It’s only a cold!
The last time I checked, the symptoms of a cold do not include bloodshot streaming eyes and itchy nostrils. Yes, we might sniffle a lot and sneeze constantly but this is NOT a cold. We can only ever wish that it was, at least we would know it would only last a week and not the whole of the summer!
Stay away from me, I don’t want to catch it
Are you for real? I didn’t realise allergies were contagious…you absolute fucktard
Can’t you just scrape X off?
I’m pretty certain that people think that this is totally legitimate, it’s not. Just because I have ‘scraped’ the nuts off, does not mean that the food still doesn’t contain nuts in it. It will still have traces of it, which is just the same as eating them. Do you want me to die?
You’ll grow out of it
Most people develop their allergies as children, but as they become older only SOME seem to leave them behind. Perhaps this is only really for those with very mild reactions. Some say that people don’t ‘grow out of them’, they just simply grow accustomed to the allergies. I’d rather not take the chance really.
A little bit of X won’t hurt!
What part of ‘I have an allergy to X’ do you fail to understand? This means that I cannot eat said food full stop. It doesn’t come in variations. Ok so if I just eat half a peanut I’m totally going to be fine, it’s only when I eat a whole peanut that I really get into difficulty. Please don’t pester us to ‘just have a bit’, it ain’t happening. We haven’t got a death wish.
Haven’t you taken your antihistamines?
Of course I have. No, they don’t work. I have taken antihistamines for years, I think my immune system is used to them, yet it doesn’t seem to be used to tree and grass pollen. Why would you even ask someone if the have taken medication they rely so heavily on?
If you touch or smell X will you die?
I’ll be lenient with this one, only because I’m not 100% sure how some allergies pan out. Speaking from my personal experience, this isn’t the case at all. Worse case scenario is a nosebleed or persistent sneezing – not ideal whilst driving let me tell you!
Have you almost died?
Getting a bit worried now, are you planning my death?
X is my favourite food, I’d hate to be you
Oh jeeze, thanks – why not rub some more salt into those wounds?
Lactose intolerance and dairy allergies are the same, right?
I’m not even going to get into this, if you don’t already know just Google it FFS!
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